by Charles Lightwalker

Here in the United States, our evaporating sense of human connectedness creates a vacuum that is quickly filled by corporate culture and the commoditization of life.

Much thought has been devoted to the myriad possible causes of our fraying social fabric, but here is one likely suspect that has received scant consideration, how we treat our babies.

For the past few generations, we have been carrying out a radical experiment in infant rearing recklessly disregarding millions of years of evolution. Our babies are routinely deprived of human contact.

The assault began around the end of the 19th century when infant formula was invented. Soon after, the western medical establishment began treating childbirth as pathology. Birthing mothers were heavily drugged, their new-born whisked away to the nursery and sequestered except during feedings. In the 20s and 30s, proponents of "behaviorist" psychology began to advise parents to let infants "cry it out" on their own, based on the specious assumption that by providing a positive response to crying (e.g., picking the baby up), one only reinforces crying behavior.

With burgeoning mass production, car seats came into fashion. As car culture proliferated, people spent more time in their cars, and so did their babies, alone in car seats. Over the last twenty-odd years single parents and families with two working parents have become the norm, often sending their babies off to day-care when they as young as 3 months, where both the quality and quantity of human interaction inherently suffers. And let’s not forget the prevalence of the electronic baby-sitter—never mind the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation of no television for the first two years.

In recent decades, there has been a slowly mounting backlash against the trends outlined above, and some have begun to reverse. The importance of abundant warm physical contact in fostering a healthy and long lasting bond between baby and caretaker is being rediscovered. Parents are relearning that infants are not insentient blobs, but rather little people who happen to be helpless, with emotional needs crucial to their well being and development. I call this alternative outlook Intuitive Parenting. Simply heeding wisdom and common sense, we know that we are exposing infants to conditions that betray evolution and that we should expect to see negative side effects from this meddling.

We intuitively understand that what is best for a baby is time spent in loving, close contact with people. Yet because our culture so reveres independence, we are inclined to ignore our hearts , and we seem to start pushing our babies away from the moment the umbilical cord is cut. Meanwhile, we lament the disintegration of family and community, the deepening personal isolation across the spectrum of society. Could it be that we are simply getting what we’ve asked for, to the extent that our approach to parenting is a reflection of an economy-driven culture in which individual ambitions reigns supreme. On the other hand, it’s reasonable to assume that if children learn to build intimate, compassionate bonds with their parents, this gift will carry over into their future relations with other people, as well with the natural world.

And it’s no stretch to imagine that such wouldn’t be inclined to seek attention by screaming for fast food or the hottest pair of Nikes, and thus would be derailed from the fast track to brand loyalty that now takes root in the single digit years. Or that an adult with strong personal grounding would likely not seek refuge in material gratification, or mindlessly trash the environment, or work a job with questionable social value, or leave a trail of family wreckage that further feeds the cycle of disconnectedness.

As with most complex problems, it may be that our best shot at reversing Western culture’s runaway spiral dehumanization is to begin with the fundamental; begetting solid human foundations from the get go, baby.

Charles Lightwalker is father to a little girl, and travels the world teaching healing, doing channeling and raising the vibrations of all he meets.
Website is www.thefamilyoflight.net  509-389-7290

back